Dear Survivor

Dear Survivor,

I wish I knew your name or recognized your face when I walk around campus because if I knew exactly who you were, I would stop you in your tracks to tell you something that I desperately want you to hear. I fear that these may not be the words you hear from friends, family, or other students at our school. My heart aches to know that you’ve been convinced that your voice doesn’t matter, that your story is unremarkable in our community. In truth, you are this community because this community is built on your passion and drive to go out into the world with purpose. I’m a firm believer that you have inherent dignity that can never be tarnished or stolen by anyone in this world. My dear friend, whether you have survived hateful gossip and spiteful glares, physical harm by a stranger or someone you trusted deeply, verbal abuse and denigration in a relationship, or rejection for being who you are, I’m here to tell you that I love you from the depths of my soul. I’m brought to tears knowing that you have been shamed and belittled, because I want so much more for you. 

For many of us, college is not what advertisements and media promised. We expected lifelong friendships, genuine compassion, openness, diversity, and a chance to discover ourselves in a supportive environment. But St. Ben’s and St. John’s don’t fulfill that fantasy for many, or maybe even most of us. Sure, adversity makes us stronger and shapes us in ways that an easy journey may not, but you do not deserve the pain you’ve felt. It cannot be justified or healed with an apology or a cliché telling you “everything happens for a reason.” But your suffering and hardship is not for nothing. I may not know you by name, but I care for you deeply and I want your hardship to be known and acknowledged because you deserve nothing less. Your courage and perseverance should be recognized, and I hope that you’ll grace this community with your story so that we can honor you and make it better.

I walk by you every day and you have been sexually assaulted or harmed in a relationship. You have been discriminated against and silenced for your race, sexual orientation, or economic background. I walk past you who grew up with divorce, abuse, addiction, or secrets behind closed doors. We may never meet and I may never hear your story, but I want you to know that your story matters. Whether you suffered in college or at another time or place, your hardship matters in this community. You belong here with all the burdens and joys you carry. I truly hope that this can become a community where your joys are celebrated and you don’t carry your burdens alone, and I believe that you can be instrumental in cultivating that atmosphere.

Dear sister or brother, thank you for being brave. Your struggle breaks my heart, but your passion gives me genuine hope for a better world. I send my admiration to you as you go forward into the summer and the rest of your journey.

A fellow survivor,

Shannon Skelly