Dear Survivor,
I wish I knew your name or recognized your face when I walk
around campus because if I knew exactly who you were, I would stop you in your
tracks to tell you something that I desperately want you to hear. I fear that
these may not be the words you hear from friends, family, or other students at
our school. My heart aches to know that you’ve been convinced that your voice
doesn’t matter, that your story is unremarkable in our community. In truth, you
are this community because this community is built on your passion and drive to
go out into the world with purpose. I’m a firm believer that you have inherent
dignity that can never be tarnished or stolen by anyone in this world. My dear
friend, whether you have survived hateful gossip and spiteful glares, physical
harm by a stranger or someone you trusted deeply, verbal abuse and denigration
in a relationship, or rejection for being who you are, I’m here to tell you
that I love you from the depths of my soul. I’m brought to tears knowing that
you have been shamed and belittled, because I want so much more for you.
For many of us, college is not what advertisements and media
promised. We expected lifelong friendships, genuine compassion, openness,
diversity, and a chance to discover ourselves in a supportive environment. But
St. Ben’s and St. John’s don’t fulfill that fantasy for many, or maybe even
most of us. Sure, adversity makes us stronger and shapes us in ways that an
easy journey may not, but you do not deserve the pain you’ve felt. It cannot be
justified or healed with an apology or a cliché telling you “everything happens
for a reason.” But your suffering and hardship is not for nothing. I may not
know you by name, but I care for you deeply and I want your hardship to be
known and acknowledged because you deserve nothing less. Your courage and
perseverance should be recognized, and I hope that you’ll grace this community
with your story so that we can honor you and make it better.
I walk by you every day and you have been sexually assaulted
or harmed in a relationship. You have been discriminated against and silenced
for your race, sexual orientation, or economic background. I walk past you who
grew up with divorce, abuse, addiction, or secrets behind closed doors. We may
never meet and I may never hear your story, but I want you to know that your
story matters. Whether you suffered in college or at another time or place,
your hardship matters in this community. You belong here with all the burdens
and joys you carry. I truly hope that this can become a community where your
joys are celebrated and you don’t carry your burdens alone, and I believe that
you can be instrumental in cultivating that atmosphere.
Dear sister or brother, thank you for being brave. Your
struggle breaks my heart, but your passion gives me genuine hope for a better
world. I send my admiration to you as you go forward into the summer and the
rest of your journey.
A fellow survivor,
Shannon Skelly
